Physical Touch

The last love language (letter E) is Physical Touch. This is a language where we will all score some points. Research tells us physical touch begins its benefit to us in infancy. Skin on Skin between a mother and an infant has been shown to contribute to the baby’s physical development. It is practiced in neonatal intensive care units worldwide as an intervention for premature babies in reducing stress, relieving pain, increasing the ability to cope, and general health.
Wise parents, in any culture, are touching parents! In the first century, parents brought their children to Jesus “to have Him touch them”. And Jesus took them in his arms and blessed them.

In our society, touching is part of a greeting --- a hand shake. Other countries have customs which include hugging and kissing. Touching is also a part of expressing other emotions related to times of sympathy or crises. If your spouse’s love language is physical touch nothing will be more important than to hold or touch them in a way that is meaningful to them.

If your love language is Physical touch a hug, a touch, an embrace, the sexual relationship will better communicate the essence of emotional love than will Words of Affirmation, or Receiving Gifts, or Acts of Service, or even Quality Time. I love to walk by my husband and put my hands on his back or his shoulder and reach over and just give him a kiss. We are hand holders and it is terribly comforting to me to have my hand in his. We always say I love you when we leave each other and most of the times give each other a kiss. These are little expressions of physical touch but they are very important. Fortunately, Stan and I grew up in touching families. This will be an area some persons will have to make a recognized change. There it is again-----it’s not about YOU!

Physical touch can communicate hate or love. The touch that brings pleasure to you may not be the touch that brings pleasure to your spouse. Don’t insist on touching your spouse in YOUR way and in YOUR time—find out what is comfortable for the one you love. Marriage touching is determined by the couple themselves. Our bodies were made for touching. If your spouses love language is physical touch and you are not touching; you are communicating to them they are not important. They may be feeling abandoned or withdrawn. Feeling unwanted or unacknowledged will affect ones self worth. It is taken as a personal hit. The author writes…. “there were times that I reached out to her physically and she was not responsive……………….I felt that she didn’t find me attractive. Then I decided I would not take the initiative because I didn’t want to be rejected. So I waited to see how long it would be ………………....I waited 6 wks....I found it unbearable. ....I felt rejected, unwanted, and unloved.” Physical touch is a powerful communicator of love. Every marriage will experience crisis. We can not change the crisis or events but we can survive if we feel loved.